It's Not Me, It's You

Have you ever had a friend break up with you? I’m talkin’ a ride-or-die, OG, sisterhood of the traveling pants, known for almost 15 years, was in her wedding, type of friend. Am I being oddly specific (because this JUST happened to me)? YUUUP. So, how do you deal? There’s no closure because the reasons are empty and flimsy. Here’s the sitch…

After being ignored for five months, I reached out (again) to find out if my friend was OK, like physically OK and if her husband was too. What if something happened and they needed help? I couldn’t live with it anymore. I called her, no answer. So, I left a voicemail, “Hey, Happy Anniversary! I love you and I miss you! I miss [husband’s name] and [pup’s name] too! I’d love to reconnect. Please call me back or send me a text. I love you.” …Then once again, crickets. 

Even more panicked, I reached out to her husband with a text along the lines of “Are you OK? Is she OK? Please let me know. I can leave you alone forever, I just need to know.” You guessed it… crickets.

Later that day, I got a response back from her:

“I'm okay. I've been thinking about it for a while but didn't say anything. I think we're headed in different directions in our lives, and that's okay. I should have let you know sooner how I felt then waiting until now.”

WHAT THE WHAT?! HOLY. COP. OUT. I was fuming. I wanted to instantly respond back, but refrained. Too much emotion. I slept on it. Dreamt about it. And even woke up thinking about it. 

I’ve got a lot of potential responses and choice words rolling around my head, but I’ve decided not to send them or even respond at all. Writing this post is a way of processing for me. What a strange situation. A lot went down by nothing happening. 

But you know what? I’ve got some badass bitches in my life who have my back. You really see who someone is when the sh*t hits the fan, and I’m one lucky gal. I’m a huge proponent of chosen family. In this instance my “chosen family” hurt me, ignored me, disappointed me, and broke my heart, but I have a crew of IRL friends and fam as well as online buds ready to lift me back up. I’m so grateful for these individuals and grateful to be able to recognize the amazing things in my life.

Recently my older son and I have been working on “The Golden Rule” - Treat others the way you would like to be treated. Let me tell ya, it’s nice to be on the receiving end of this rule. In addition, people come into our lives for reasons or seasons, I get that, but like Mr. Brown’s Diversity Training in The Office, I’d like to be treated with Honesty, Empathy, Respect, and Openmindedness. In this sitch, however, I wasn’t.

But onward and upward! Have you gone through a friend break up? Did it make any sense? How did you cope or process? I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again - Female relationships are SOOO important! Wanna be buds? I’ve got an opening! (JK - There’s always an open seat at my table!)

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