Mother’s Day is coming up soon and as awesome as this holiday is, it can be TOUGH for some. (I’ve been there.) I recently had a wonky experience that shouldn’t have affected me, but I’m obvi still thinking about it. For any non-biological mom’s, women without children - who want them, caregivers or other non-traditional mama’s: This one's for you…
I went in for a “routine-to-me” procedure the other day and part of the prep was a pregnancy test. Personally, I know these all too well… With a negative result, followed by lots of emotion. That was YEARS ago and my husband and I have adopted the most amazing baby boys since, but the memories, feelings, and sentiment are all still there, just under the surface.
I came out of the bathroom in the exam room and the tech who was helping me (a super nice woman - no shame or blame here) said, “That will be ready in about 3 minutes, but you probably already knew that!” I laughed with her and brushed it off. Truth is, yes, I did know that BUT her words have been looping in my head ever since. She didn’t mean anything by it. If anything, she was just attempting to continue our lighthearted conversation that we had developed throughout the afternoon. She was doing her job. But I’m dealing with my fall out.
My husband and I got married about nine years ago and I was almost instantly plagued with health issues. Between feeling awful and all of the meds, the first five years of being married… wasn’t ideal! But this guy is my soup snake. (All The Office fans know what I’m talkin’ about!) Even though we had two furbabies, we desired to expand our family with skin babies… I mean kids.
This is where those negative tests come in. Y’all know what I’m talkin’ about - It’s EMOTIONAL. Month after month, negative after negative. Especially when you see all of your friends and relatives getting pregnant, having baby showers, etc etc etc. And throw in MOTHER’S DAY. Ouch. Sometimes, your heart would just hurt. It’s not like you wished something against someone else, or… I don’t think “jealous” is the right word… It just hurt that you couldn’t experience something that you wanted SO badly.
Personally, I wouldn’t change a moment of what I have experienced, but that doesn’t mean that these deep emotional wounds have healed or the emotions have gone away. My family has been on a JOURNEY to find each other and my babies are THE BEST babies. I firmly believe that we get the children that are meant for us - no matter how they come into our lives (as biological, adopted, grand babies, nieces, nephews, god-children, neighbors, etc).
So, Happy Mama Day to Y-O-U! Physically carrying / giving birth to a child doesn’t officially make you a mom or mama. Clearly, there’s more to it than that. That baby’s day of birth is only the beginning. We provide SO MUCH MORE in so many ways. Remember that I love you and am here for you! Pop into those Instagram DMs, text me, or send over an email to chat. I’m here for ya.